People like to talk about it and read into the meaning of it, but divorce is something that many people will experience at one point in their lives. There are many reasons for it, sometimes things end amicably; sometimes it’s because of stress and debt, abuse, infidelity, substance abuse, or career related conflicts (Source). Regardless of the reasons, studies from the 2006 Canadian Census reveal that four in ten first marriages will end in divorce before 2035 (Source). Unfortunately today this is one of the current and stressful situations that Diane is facing.
After a few years of marriage we decided to start having kids. It was challenging at times, but also the most wonderful decision we made. I love my kids with all my heart…But sometime after that is when I think my husband and I started to grow apart. Well I know we started growing apart, because we’re just in the final stages of settling who gets what assets. It’s such a complicated procedure and we haven’t even started figuring out child support payments! I’m a single mom with three kids and a limited support network. After the divorce I needed to find a new place to live, so we moved to Kitchener a few weeks ago. I’m still working on finding a job and daycare but last week the last of my savings ran out. Luckily I found out about this program so we can have some food while I keep getting my resume out there. I never realized how hard it would be to start my life over from scratch.
Life as a single parent is going to be a big adjustment – and definitely one that you’ll never be able to prepare yourself for.
Consider what it would be like. Your attention is often driven towards getting your children to understand why everything is changing so dramatically. Everyone’s life will be upside down for a while and it’s hard to follow the same routines and retain a sense of normalcy. There are a lot of questions that you don’t have an easy answer for.
In the chaos that is day-to-day living you’ll struggle to find a new balance in your life and continue to be a supporting role model for your children. Soon they’ll get to an age when they can watch themselves for a few hours after school until you get home from work, but you can’t forget that they need your presence and attention to help them grow.
Many people survive as single parents in this city. But it’s not an easy transition, which is why it’s easy to understand why some people need some help to get through this experience. That help may be counseling or support groups, advice and support on finding a better place to live, treatment programs, or food. Starting fresh is a lot of work but one step at a time Diane will overcome this. She may wind up back in our lobby from time-to-time when child support payments don’t show up, or if the child tax credit doesn’t arrive on time, but like others in her situation slowly she’ll rebuild a new life for herself and her kids with the help of many social service agencies such as our program.